Cleaning out my closet is never easy. I'm always afraid if I get rid of something that I will need it later. Even if I haven't worn it in years, I can't seem to get rid of it.
Lately, I have felt like God is cleaning out my spiritual closet. He is removing people who are gathering dust and taking up space in my life. I want to hang on to it, and so I get upset and angry about what I see as betrayal. I argue that God doesn't know what it is like to be betrayed by someone close to me.
WHAT??? Did I really just say that??? Instantly Judas and Peter come to mind. And I realized just why God came to earth in human form. In addition to dying for my sins, He also came so I could be assured that He DOES know how I feel. Been there. Done that. Wrote the book on it.
Still, prying things out of my hands is not pretty. Or easy. It hurts. I flash back to the lessons learned sitting by my mothers hospital bed while she was dying. As I held her hand, I asked God to end her suffering and take her hand. I then heard a gentle voice inside me say, "I can't take hold of her hand until you let go." BAM. Right between the eyes. Suddenly, it was my move.
Surrender was my only option. Sure God could have taken my mother before that. He's God. He controls the universe. But He wanted ME to surrender. Yes, I still miss my mother. But she is in Paradise now. And I love her enough to let her go.
I know that if God is removing something or someone from my life, it is to make room for something better. Joe cleaned some things out of our closet the other day. They were my fathers things. He said 3 years is long enough. It was time to move on. I don't know what God has in store for me, but I know He is making room for something. Help me to surrender, Lord.
